I’m curious about how people choose to stay stuck in their pain, shame, hurt and harming. I’m curious about it because it seems to me there are turning points in our lives that lead us down a road of revelations, and yet some of us choose not to take the turn.

I’m cognisant our trauma disrupts our capacity to do so, and I’m ever so aware of the truth of feeling consumed with fear.

Maybe what it’s really about is, when the student is ready the teacher will appear? Mind you, it isn’t always a conscious decision to have a ‘teacher’ appear is it? In my personal experience, 20+ years ago, I had many moments of reaching “rock bottom” and begging for help, more out of fear of spiraling any further than wanting to feel like a better person.

And yet, as I look around now and see the plethora of options for seeking help and support, why are so many of us still trapped in our pain and shame?

It circles back to our belief systems and the bullshit stories we learned to tell ourselves about events that occurred, feelings and meanings we then attached to the events, and the beliefs we then created. All of this largely, at sub and/or unconscious levels. Because the conscious mind, on average, only has 10% of the decision making pie, therefore the remaining 90% is split across the subconscious and unconscious.

And that my friend is where the true transformational power sits. Rewriting the bullshit stories stored in our subconscious and unconscious minds.

Just in case you weren’t aware, in the first 6-7 years of our lives, while our brain is still developing, we are like sponges. We soak up what’s going on around us and don’t have the skills to decide on whether there’s any truth in what we tell ourselves. The brain simply and mechanically stores the data.

For example, by the age of 4, I had witnessed my grandmother scream in terror at the sight of green frogs. My experience of her experiences goes like this:

I have a feeling: terrified

With that feeling I create a meaning: all frogs are scary

With that meaning I turn it into a belief (albeit a bullshit belief): Be scared of frogs forever.

Now take that belief and paint it across 5 decades. I still jump when I see green frogs unexpectedly. However, I don’t scream, panic or go into fight/flight/freeze mode. Why? Because I’ve reconfigured my belief systems (aka neural pathways) by creating new beliefs such as: Frogs are startled by me more then I am of them. Frogs are great for our ecosystem. Frogs are harmless etc.

Can you see how the impact of bullshit beliefs can unnecessarily keep us stuck if left unchecked? They will forever remain stored in the 90% filing system of the sub and unconscious mind if we do nothing to change it up. And guess what? The kicker is, they continue to gather more of the same type of data to feed into the bullshit if we allow it.

Unless we do something about it.

Now please don’t get me wrong, our belief systems are mighty powerful and we need the subconscious and unconscious minds to do their jobs: store the data we need, to be able to retrieve without scrambling our conscious minds daily.

It’s the bullshit beliefs that we review/revise/remove that matter most. So, here’s my call to action:  Are you ready to have a brave, awkward, and kind conversation with yourself about your beliefs?

It could be as simple as:

1. Giving yourself permission to get curious with your beliefs
2. Ask yourself: why do I believe what I do, and are these beliefs serving, supporting, nourishing, and respectfully challenging me? If so, keep them!!! If they’re not, you could give yourself permission to delete it and replace them with ones that feed your body, mind, and soul.

If you’re like most of us and need some help to explore bullshit beliefs, and are ready to do some deep work, reach out, get in touch with me, and let’s see if we can transform your bullshit beliefs into fertiliser.

If I can do this, I know you can too. I believe in!